Monday, March 21, 2011

Losing mum..

Losing Mum

I had a marvellous mother who loved me, sacrificed for me and helped me in every way possible. In all of my growing up, through college and eventually marriage, my mother was always at my side. And when I needed help with my little ones, she was there for me. Today, we buried that wonderful woman. Can you imagine how I felt when I returned from the services and found this poem in her desk drawer?
If you are ever going to love me
Love me now while I can know
The sweet and tender feelings
Which from true affection flow

Love me now while I am living
Do not wait until I am gone
And then have it chiselled in marble
Sweet words on ice cold stone

If you have tender thoughts of me
Please tell me now
If you wait until I am sleeping
There will be death between us
And I won't hear you then

So if you love me, even a little bit
Let me know while I am living
So that I can treasure it

Now she is gone and I am sick with guilt because I never told her what she meant to me. Worse yet, I did not treat her as she deserved to be treated. I found time for everyone and everything but I never made time for her. It would have been easy to drop in for a cup of tea and a hug but my friends came first. Would any of them have done for me what my mother did? I know the answer. When I called mom on the phone, I was always in a hurry. I feel ashamed when I think of the times I cut her off. I remember too, the times I could have included her and didn't. Our children loved Grandma from the times they were babies. They often turn to her for comfort and advice. She understood them. I realise now that I was too critical, too short-tempered, too stingy with praise. Grandma gave them unconditional love. 
The world is filled with sons and daughters like me. I hope they see themselves in this letter and profit from it. It's too late for me and I am sick with regrets.

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